Epic Win!

I wasn't really going to post anything from last night's run, but after yesterdays dramatic post of failure it was only fair to follow up with something more positive.

It may not have been an epic win, but it was a win none the less. For some reason I fail to grasp, we're following the schedule to a tee, which means clinic night will never be nothing more than a steady run. Which for me is a waste. I don't need a group atmosphere to do a steady. So rather than whine about it, I decided that I would alter my personal schedule and make it work.  I decided that I would run a tempo run instead. It makes perfect sense to me, I need to chase someone, it forces me to go faster and the temptation of really running that closely to 'the big boys' is too strong to resist and it gives me fire.

So for some strange reason the route was only told to group leaders, something that I have a major problem with since I fall in between groups. As could be expected I got lost from the lead group which pissed me off and slowed down my pace for a bit. I decided to use that anger for fuel and by the end of the run I was .08 of a mile short of my goal distance (oops) and I finished with an average time of 10:43 minute/mile. WIN!!!

Everything felt great at the end of the run and when due to me taking a different route and ending up in front of the 2:00 group I heard something that made me feel awesome. I heard from a rather speedy friend "you were really moving, we tried to catch you, but we could only gain on you a bit". It felt like I'd won the lottery. Seriously.

The only thing that disturbs me as of late is my overwhelming obsession with times. If my time is slower than I'd like I feel like a loser. That's dangerous. When my self esteem is tied that closely to what I achieve out there on the pavement, it can only be a recipe for disaster.

I also get the feeling that some people think I'm pushing myself too hard. I totally admit to pushing myself but it's mid November and I can still see pavement. Plus if you don't aim high, you'll never truly know what you're capable of.