Yesterday's Long Slow Run was definitely a slow one, snail slow. I was frustrated for most of the run because I didn't even feel like I was working...except for the footing...no matter what the pace it was all work.
The recent warming trend over the last couple of days, while more than welcome, has created a sloppy wet mess out there...and since the city has yet to clear the sidewalks from the last few snowfalls, it makes footing sketchy at best.
This week we found ourselves with almost no group leaders due to a variety of reasons so that meant you got to either run with the front of the pack or the very back of the pack. Guess where i ended up? Yup...I ended up running something like an average of 15:39m/mile pace for the whole run. Woo. Fricken. Hoo.
If I'm honest this frustrated me like nobody's business...the whole time I just wanted to RUN. However in hindsight it was a good thing...I guess. I got to help encourage other runners, I got to see a few people reach a new longest distance ever run before and I didn't overly strain myself when it came to pace so my recovery today should be almost non existent.
I'm worried though that this is going to become a trend for me. Oh look...she's not fast enough to be with the fast group, let's stick her with the slower group and as a result I never get to improve. I know that you don't run race pace on LSR but if my target RP is an 11:30m/m pace i need to at least be under 13:00!
This clinic has become a source of great frustration for me. This obsession with jamming people into categories has to stop. Everyone runs their own pace, there is no right or wrong pace and forcing people to give up their target goals just isn't right. I know this, I live this, I fight this.
The end result though has become that I just don't think I'm going to run with this clinic group anymore...now that I know what's what. I was forced to run with the slow group because I didn't know the route...shocking...route secrecy? WOW. Push me over with a feather. The reality is that I'm going to be running Fargo and the 50K by myself, so I'd better get used to it.
I keep trying to find something good in it all and I just can't seem to find it. Maybe it's making me stronger mentally, but I just feel like that silly elitism has found it's way back into my life. I still have zero desire to head to tomorrow nights clinic, but I get it. I'm slow. Nowhere as slow as I used to be, but still in comparison to the rest of the group I might as well be walking backwards. Cool. I'm never going to be included and I'm going to have to put on my big girl panties and live with it.
I made the decision to do these running goals this year on my own, I can't rely on other people to constantly reafirm i can do them. If I do I'm just going to find out that I can't...because if i don't believe that I will do them, then I will fail...and I don't do failure. I may miss my goal but I always give it everything I have. I am strong, I am terrified, but I will do this. I will decide what to do the morning of m winter 1/2 marathon...it may be epic, i may juts enjoy the ride...people need to stop telling me to aim low and be happy with whatever I do.
That's not how I roll though. I aim high, reset the aim to even higher and then adjust the day's goals according to what's what that day. Messed up I know, but if I don't have a goal to push for, then I just give up...and can you imagine though if I manage to get my 2:30 / 2:39 / 2:45 finish for the winter 1/2?
It would be amazing. I would feel like a million dollars...however the weather will dictate what happens that day. This I know. Fingers crossed.
No comments:
Post a Comment