So the day finally came! The first official day of marathon training. I was excited, practically buzzing I was so pumped for the first clinic night. I flitted around the house secure in my knowlage that I was doing the most amazing thing of my life, that the journey was going to be amazing and epic!
I walked into homebase and I was giddy, I could hardly wait for the whole class to get there. It was going to be like every other clinic but better! Wow. Turns out, not so much.
I learned something last night. That this is all about me and if I'm going to go looking for outside reinforcement I need to just not do it. I know that they all meant well but the condescension in the voice was almost overbearing. I'm not going to spend this whole post whining but I will say this. I KNOW i will do this. I'm not some unsure quivering newbie who's afraid she's not going to make it to the end. Stop treating me like I'm a pathetic baby.
I'm strong, I've pushed myself through things you can't even imagine. Don't get me wrong, if you have advice for me, I'd love to hear it. If you have tips and thoughts on my training? Ditto! Just don't placate me, I don't do placate very well.
The mood was a different one than what I'm used to. Maybe I just have blinders on when i comes to the teacher, but shes amazing! Why wouldn't you listen to her? Even when I've silently disagreed with something she's said, I've taken it in, dwelled on it and in some cases headed in a different direction, but one that was perfect for me. There were times that I was positive that I knew better, I'd run 15 1/2 marathons! Turns out I didn't.
The atmosphere was almost combative in many cases last night. I couldn't believe what I was listening to. The cohesive group I though I was walking into, turned out to be nothing more than a bunch of ego's. Is that what happens when you cross that thresh hold into being a marathon runner? I've felt that way about many of the full runners I've come across...like they're better than everyone else...and I guess in some respects they are I just don't think you have to act like it?
Is it inevitable though? When you push yourself and conquer that mental mind barrier do you then set yourself above the rest? I really hope that I don't do that. I love running and I love working with newbie runners, however I never want to make someone feel how I was made to feel last night.
I've come to this clinic to learn, if you haven't fine. Don't then. Just don't interfere with what I'm trying to figure out, don't argue with the instructor please. I've read everything I can on doing this, I've spent my winter lifting weights and strengthening my core to help with this. I'm ready for this.
I'm going to be doing this on my own, this became clear last night when all but 1 person took off like a bat out of hell. They also did a group picture minus the two of us at the back of the pack...since we weren't back yet. Ouch.
So its like that is it?
No worries, bring it on bitches. All this crap is just going to make me stronger.
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