It was cold...and not just that regular cold we're used to but windchill cold. The wind was up to 40km wind gusts and the exposed parts of the route made you think that there was a distinct possibility that your face was going to shatter into a million tiny ice fragments.
The wind pushed and pulled you in every direction. Pelting you with tiny shards of blowing snow. After the first mile I decided to check my watch to make sure I wasn't going too fast...it felt like I was at a 9 minute mile pace so I thought for sure I should slow down. The watch said 12:30. Immediately I thought "okay...it's going to be one of THOSE races is it? All righty then let's do this". I though that 12:30 wasn't too bad...it allowed me a slow build to my inevitable awesome finish.
~sigh~
As soon as we cleared the open fields and entered into the forest I removed my outer layer...the sweat was starting to build and I knew that I was going to be in serious trouble if I ended up soaked...that cold was unforgiving. It didn't matter.
By mile 7 my shirt was actually frozen to my skin (arm), by mile 8 my middle layer (RRX jacket) was frozen solid...i kid you not...the sleeves wouldn't really bend...they crunched.
At this point I since I could see no one around me I knew that I was going to be coming in dead last again. I didn't give up though...I forced myself to keep pushing.
At mile 10 I decided to check my watch...it was here I noticed that I'd only been on course for 2:20...I did a fast mental math and I realized that If I picked it up I could finish in 3 hours...maybe even sub 3....i knew I didn't have any 7 minute kilometers in me so I plowed on as fast as I could with next to zero walk breaks.
I finished in 3:03...taking almost an hour off of my previous finish times for this winter 1/2 marathon. I feel good about that. Yes it felt like a step backwards, but that's only because I've grown so much in the last 9 months. Even just typing that I can't believe it's only been 9 months since I started this hard push towards getting stronger, getting faster.
Last year at this time I was training, hoping that maybe somehow for the WPS i could pull off a 2:59 finish. Now i know that when it comes time for the next big 1/2 push I'm going to come in at 2:15. I can feel it. There's nothing out there keeping me from this other than myself.
I ran this race alone...and I know that made it harder than it needed to be, but it is what it is. I proved to myself that even though i may slow down I won't give up. That's the most important thing i take away from this. For the Ultra I'm going to need to run a 12:00 m/m pace for 6.5 hours. I know I can do that...and I often wonder how hard core they will be...i guess the big thing is that I need to maintain that pace up until the cut off point...the I can walk if I need to.
This race made me stronger. True it made me feel like a bit of a failure...but that's only because I set my goals so incredibly high that there's usually a 90% probability that I'm going to fail. Failure breeds determination. Determination breeds a never quit attitude. I may be dead last across the finish line, but this i know; I worked just as hard as the first guy so I'm worth every reward, every pat on the back and every cheer.
I will never quit.
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