Indoor Track

I'd pretty much decided that between the -44'C, my head cold and the 2 feet of snow that we got that I wasn't going to run outdoors today. I might have done it if there wasn't all that fresh snow from yesterdays blizzard, but I had zero desire to end up wiped out from fighting nature to get my 14km in.

If I'm honest I was DREADING the track. It was all I could do to make myself go. I was envisioning counting laps and having it drag by...kinda like watching paint dry. You know what happened? I had the best run I've had in ages. I was unencumbered by the multitude of layers, I didn't have to focus so hard on where I was going to put my foot, no ice, no snow ruts and best of all for the first time in MONTHS i was able to crank up my music and just run for the love of running.

I switched the read out on the watch to heart rate and kept it in the range I wanted. My foot pod was synced to track my distance and speed, but we all know that can end up being unreliable, so heart rate training it was.

I was rather impressed...my average was 12:30 m/mile for the entire 14km...and that included stopping for fuel and not stopping the watch a few times...with a head cold...which also made me stop every 10 minutes or so to blow my nose. The fact that I was able to run my old race pace with no issues and little effort made me feel fantastic. Pleased even.

It did show me though that I need to keep pushing and training hard. I though that my pace would pick up naturally with all this hard work...it would seem not. I mean I know I'm sick but still...it's not like it's a brutal chest cold or anything. So my plan is to get back out there and come Tuesday run garbage hill again. Am I excited to continue running in this arctic weather we're having? Nope. Not one bit, but I figure it's only going to make me stronger mentally. I ran 14km on a track by myself today. I plan on running a 1/2 marathon on a track during our vacation. I'll admit I was worried about it, but now I know I can do it no worries.

I could have run longer today...providing I'd stopped for fuel...and that makes me smile. I think with the knowledge that I'm going to be running so much further, these distances that scared me before seem no where near as daunting.

I like it.

Now I just need to ditch this grumpy mood because nothing fits me anymore...at all...a great problem to have I know, but it would appear that i need to become a master seamstress...or win the lottery so i can keep buying new clothes.

Never in a million years did i think that I would be frustrated because I keep losing weight. Ever. First world problems can be awesome.

I don't wanna...I really, really, really don't wanna

So I took most of this week off for Christmas...cooking dinner always takes a lot out of me...and then attending the others seems equally exhausting. Of course the weather was gorgeous...only -20'C...now that I'm slated to get back into it and what do I see in tomorrows forecast? Extreme Windchill...feels like -45'C for tomorrows run.

SUCK IT NATURE!!!!

I don't know what you're trying to do to me...maybe you're trying to make me stronger? Maybe you're trying to see what I really have inside me? That last one will happen when they cut me open to make sure it was hypothermia that killed me. This is just NUTS! It's December...only December...we don't get this until January!!!! Holy shit is it going to suck this winter. Soul sucking, life force draining cold has started to make even the hardiest souls question their sanity. I want to run outside more than anything else tomorrow. I can feel it calling me and the thought of paying to run indoors just seems wrong, oh so very wrong.

We shall see what tomorrow brings I guess.

Long Slow Frosty Hellish Run

Hills are...BARF

Okay...so i guess when you're not feeling too hot running hills only seems like a good idea. All the way to the hill, i thought...oh my god I'm gonna puke. You know that feeling of flippity, floppity that comes from running while feeling queasy? Well I had in in spades last night.

As a matter of fact I was pretty sure at one point that the bug from ceti alpha five had bred with Alien and they were desperately trying to make their way out of my upper GI tract. It was awful...at one point I started crying and then I remembered my coach's voice yelling at me that crying wastes energy, so I sucked it up and kept at it.

So up the hill I eventually went...and I might add these aren't the real hills...they're the overpass so they're usually easy peasy. Well I made it up the hill...time doesn't matter, what does is where my heart rate was and it was right where it should have been. By the time I made it down the hill I barely managed to clear the path before I hurled. It was mostly bile and GU since I hadn't really eaten much due to the queasiness.

I instantly felt better...so I took it easy right?

Nope.

I plowed back up the hill for what would be my fastest hill time of the night and made it back down the other side before I suffered in indignity of ralphing again, this time in front of my coach who then gave me shit and tried to tell me I was done.

Did i listen? Nope. I finished the remaining 2 hills and then ran back at a rather descent pace.

So what did I learn last night?

I learned that in winter making your coach wait for you while you finish hills in freezing temps is selfish, it never occurred to me that she would wait for me. I felt horrid when I realized she'd been waiting for me to finish and would now run slowly back with me freezing all the way back.

I learned to pay the attention to my heart rate. At the start I was at 208bpm...and that's just plain old freaking stupid. I didn't realize this until I got home and downloaded the data of course, but still.

I learned that when you feel like shit, running can make you feel better, but usually you have to feel worse first.

I learned that If I can barf twice and maintain a 12:30 m/mile pace on the way back for 2km after running 4 hills I can do freaking anything...I'm that awesome...i'm what would have been if Thor and She-Hulk had procreated.

Yup. How's that for a mental picture.

Dear Nature: Please Stop. That is all.

Last night we did  5km steady...and it was SAD. I managed to squeak out a 13:11 m/m pace average and that just was painful to do. My leg is fine, CD2 didn't help much but the reality is that since winter hit we've had 3 weeks steady of sub -30'C and it's starting to kill my spirit.

Everyone around me is complaining and tired of the cold...I am too but I see no point in complaining about it...January and February are still ahead of us and that's when the weather really starts to suck ass.

Last night I sweated profusely on my run...like as in when I got back my shirts were soaked all the way through. It doesn't matter how I layer it seems I have a choice...freeze my ass off or sweat. I pick sweat. Being cold makes me cranky and I just can't keep up that happy attitude when nature decides to freeze us out.

I did however cement my decision to take all of next week off from running. I feel burnt out like I just want to crawl into a hole and stay there until spring thaw. What with the craziness of Christmas and all I think it'll help me more to not feel guilty about trying to make running work...and it's only 5 days off...5 glorious days without the whining babies I've been running with lately. Love it.

Back to the cold. I think nature's testing me. She knows what I've been up to and she's telling me that if I'm serious about the 50km, this is what it's going to be like. Sucky.

Time to suck it up.

Hill Day

Oh man oh man, is it getting tough to keep running my hill in this snow and ice. I slowed down today just because of the very fresh powder that was out there. My feet were slipping and sliding around like crazy.

Perhaps I should preface this post by saying that I really didn't want to be out there today. I didn't even get to the hill until noon...which is me dragging my feet as much as I could. I'm tired, I'm sore and yesterday I was thrilled to find out that the pinched nerve in my ankle wasn't a pinched nerve.

Tendonitis resulting from a super tight right side from the hip down. Prescription from the physio? Voltaren and Ibuprofen. No need to stop running. Love it. However I'm shit-bagged today and all I want is to stay on the couch and veg...but no one ever got to a 50km by giving into the desire to sit on their ass, so out I went.

Every part of me screamed all the way up the hill. I wanted to stop...I actually had to stop on the way up of every single freaking hill. Cheating? Yup. Did I care? Nope. I'd rather stop and grab a quick breathe out of the headwind than give up early and go home. I figure the rules of winter hills are different...you get to make them up as you go along since you're the only one out there.

My up hill times were 13:40, 13:20, 13:40. 12:59, 13:07 and 12:05 m/mile paced...no where near where they have been but it was also CD1 for me and all things considered I think that slow hills are better than no hills. Also when my hearts at 160bpm, it means I was working as hard as I could.

The hill sessions are becoming more about the mental upper of knowing I'm still at it, the ability to say I ran that hill all winter. That hill is what's going to get me to my 50km ultra...not the couch. I juts hope that the cold stays cold and the snow stays low. Crazy I know...so opposite of where I've been my whole life. Everyone else I run with is bitching about the cold. I'd rather run in that cold bundled up nice and tight than lose layers and slip around on that street...for now...ask me again in January...oh wait...in a little over a month I'll be running free and clear in the Caribbean.

Yeah. I can suck this up.

-35'C is Delightful!

So one night assume that the title of today's post is tongue in cheek and while I would much rather be running in seasonal temperatures rather than these arctic ones, it was rather true yesterday. Last weekend we hit -43'C and it was miserably cold...yesterday though we had no wind. It was AWESOME. Yes it was cold, yes it was frosty, yes I ended up having to pace the 2:30 group when it's leader had to turn back due to frozen feet, but it was the most fun I'd had on a run in weeks!

Sure maybe it had a little something to do not having to push my own pace, true maybe I would have liked to pick up the pace to be able to warm up a bit more but we finished the full distance. Something many of my buddies didn't do...they turned back for a variety of reasons each and every one a sound one. You never flirt with the cold in weather like this. If you're under dressed, turn back...plain and simple.

We ran 10km and finished strong. With an average of 13:48 per mile I wasn't even winded and I love that. It shows how much I've grown over the last 6 months. Next week we move up to 12km and I can't wait to be able to run my own pace again!

There's something happening in my running club though. I think this cold is starting to break them. Veteran runners are talking about moving our run location to an indoor track. Really? We don't even know what the weather is going to be like yet! I'm certain it'll be more of the same so I'm dreading when I have to say thanks, but no thanks. I'll run on my own if I have to. The 1/2 we're training for is at the end of February...which is typically weather like this. Yes this cold sucks, but when you find a clothing combination that works you're fine!

Do i wish I could ditch my thick layers for sleek and sexy run tights? Sure! Am I going to? NO WAY! I bought cheap ski pants for snowshoeing and those are what I'm running in. What happens if they wear out? They wear out. I spent $500.00 this winter on new winter running gear for the smaller body...every piece guaranteed to be all you need to make it through a Winnipeg winter. Each and every one of them failed to do so...individually and combined. So now I fall back to survival training. Thick and warm = awkward but frostbite free!

On a more concerning note it would seem my ankle pain is the result of a closed off tarsal tunnel. Not happy. I don't know if it's just from tight muscles/ligaments but when the rest of the world wakes up this morning I'm going to make a phone call to a physio place. I don't know if I'll get in before Christmas but I sure hope so. It's time to get preventative on this thing...I have big goals set for this year and I'm not going to let this get out of control.

I plan to take the week of Christmas off of running to let my body heal, so here's hoping everything feels better soon.

This girl is on FIRE!

Well no not really...although last night that would have felt better than the stabbing stinging frozen legs that I suffered because I screwed up and underdressed! Stupid me...I won't make that mistake again!

So last night we had out first "official" hill session...although  you all know that I've been running my real hill for well...forever. We use the overpass that's closest to our store and use the run there as a warm up. Within seconds of stepping outside I knew I'd made a mistake, the -36'C wind chill cut straight through both of my bottom layers and my calves started to tighten up instantly.

Whatever, I thought...I can do this, I'll just run faster to keep me warm. Yeah. That doesn't actually work with me apparently. You know that feeling when your subcutaneous fat freezes so badly that even touching it hurts? Where the clothes feels like someone's scraping you with pins and razorblades? Well that was me. Stupid, stupid, me.

The upside was I had brilliant hill times. a 9:20, 11:50 and a 10:13...talk about Sweet! I think what I loved was that I was not at the back of the pack...I was leading the hill and by the end of it only the super speedy were ahead of me...even better though was that on the way back the rest of the elite 2:15 pack couldn't keep up with me...they were too tired from the 'hill' session.

I really don't meant to sound bitchy, it's just that it felt so validating...I can do this. I'm not running outside where I should be, I had smoking hot uphill times and that made me feel AWESOME! The run back where I had people chasing me felt even better...in all honesty though I kept picking up speed I Was so cold.

I did however hear one of the nicest things ever. One of the group leaders who's been a big cheerleader for me from the start of this whole journey came up to me and said "Once that snow melts, I'm not going to be able to keep up with you on those hills!"

It felt so good it was insane. I've always said to her 'one day when I grow up I hope I can run as fast as you'. I really love running...and I know deep in my heart that if I can keep this up for the next 2 months I'm going to own everything out there.

I didn't make a mistake registering for the 50K...I'm going to do this...really do this...this is goignt o be the best year of my life...I can feel it in my bones!

Don't tell me...

So as I posted yesterday, I decided to register for a 50K ultra that takes place 3 weeks after my first Full marathon. I haven't told anyone yet...and for that I'm thankful. A few people have been asking others if they're running it...when they ask someone who's in my situation the peripheral response seems to be scoffing and eye rolling as if to say "yeah right".

This has reaffirmed my decision to wait and see how I handle training before mentioning it that  this is on my radar as a possibility. I really don't know what's going to happen, but just because you think it's crazy for you, don't make it crazy for me.

Four and a half years ago when I decided to go from a 300+lb couch potato to half marathon, many people told me I was nuts. Go for a 10K why don't you...be realistic. I was told I couldn't run...I was too fat. The list goes on and on...people were not shy in expressing their disbelief and their opinions.

Here's the thing. I was over 300 lbs and I taught myself how to run...no fancy clinic, no support network, just me and the memory of my dad to get me through the shitty parts. I finished my 1st 1/2 marathon in 3:20...with not a stitch of walking...because at that point I couldn't do the whole 10 and 1 thing, for if I stopped...I was done.

I did that.

By myself.

When I was in the worst physical condition of my life.

Since then I've learned so much more, I'm such a stronger person, lighter person and most importantly I've discovered how food effects my body. I recover quickly because my whole world revolves around keeping my body fit and healed. If there's a food out there that can hurt my recovery I don't consume it. Post PB celebrations are limited to foods that I'm not intolerant to and the alcohol is also limited...and I go on a super tough toxin purge the next day. I drink so much water that you could float me out of the room.

The day after a 1/2 marathon I could easily head out for a slow 10k run...I've run 1/2 marathons 2 weeks apart before I became what I am.

This will be no different. If you listen to your body and do what you need to do, not what you want to do everything will be fine.

So just because you chose to celebrate your victories with entire bottles of hard liquor and 24 beer, don't judge me by your shitty recovery. Don't get me wrong...if you want to drink all that go right ahead, you've earned it. Don't judge me by the standards you hold for yourself either.

I'm sorry if I remind you that anything is possible if you're willing to sacrifice enough for it. It all comes down to what's important to you...and this is important to me. I have the strongest motivator I the world...the whole reason I started this journey. My dad. I know that he will help me get through the hardest parts of this...because he always does.

This is going to be epic.

I own you

This is my hill...I'm still running it in December...when all other runners have abandoned her. There's a sweet hard packed trail right up the middle from walkers, so I run her every Tuesday...and feel like a freaking rockstar because of it.

She was a cold beast yesterday but I got 6 of them in before I decided to call it quits. -33'C is going to feel like a dream compared to todays -43'C. This cold snap must end soon...before it blends right into January and it becomes permanent.

The upside my first hill was run at a 10:14 m/m pace...one of my fastest hill times in snow EVER! Woo hoo!! This spring I'm gonna fly!!!!!!!!

Someone needs to take away my ability to register via the internet

Okay...so...I think I may have just committed the most insanely stupid thing I've ever thought of doing. It's not my fault. It's the internets fault...if they didn't make it so easy to register for events...if I actually had to go down in person and register...none of this would have happened.

So in case you haven't guessed it I went a head and registered for my first 50K ultra. Before you start telling me how stupid I am let me explain.

I've been dreaming about running the Calgary 50k for weeks now. It's on my ever present mind. It's a one time run for it's 50th anniversary...all road...literally a dream come true for me. My thoughts are that I would register for it and see how my training takes me for my first full marathon...you see it's 3 weeks after it...the training program calls for a 26 mile straining run right around that time...it's fate!

So before you tell me how stupid I am hear me out. This race is going to sell out...it already has once...while I would love to wait and see how Fargo goes and then register for it,  if I do that though I won't be able to...it'll be sold out. Basically in my head it went like this...If I'm willing to gamble and flush $125 if for some reason everything goes horribly wrong, why not take a chance and train for the ultra? If Fargo is an unmitigated disaster I'll sell the bib to someone else. However if Fargo goes Brilliantly, if my recovery is awesome and fabulous...then I'd be kicking myself watching my friends head off to partake in one of the greatest running events of all time.


I know the course is going to be tough and full of hills...not to mention the serious elevation difference...but if I train my ass off for this there's no reason I can't truly make this the best year of my life!

When I started running I told no one...because I knew that if I said I was going to go from an obese couch potatoe to a 1/2 marathon people would have told me I was being to ambitious...hell people did in the end tell me I should train for a 10k or something more realistic. I did it and ran my first 1/2 marathon in 3:20 at 280lbs.

I train smart. I listen to my body. I recover quickly in part to a strict diet pre and post run. I don't indulge in every treat under the sun when I PB...I indulge a bit and then get right back at it. I know in my heart I can do this. I know people who are going and haven't run a full marathon in 6 years...they're in no better shape then I am...sure they may be faster, but I'm getting there.

So the long and the short of it is that I'm telling no one that I've registered...I suspect I'll have to tell my husband when he asks me what the charge on the CC is...but until then I'm incognito. I just don't want people to gossip. Once I prove to them how awesome I am I'll tell them...or once I feel like I can really truly do this.

~gulp~

F-F-F-Frozen

We're in the midst of a freak cold snap around here for the last week or so. Temperatures are consistently in the -40'C range and it's made running tougher than usual. I've still been out there, it's just that it's been so cold you can barely see or think straight.

Cooler heads prevailed over the whole Ultra Marathon debate...tackle one thing at a time and maybe take some time to enjoy this journey before embarking on the next one...besides I plan to do Disney in 2015 and That's going to take up all my extra funding over the next year and yet another out of town run will end up costing me another $500.00...so yeah...no Ultra for me...or at least that's the decision for now.

Back to the arctic front we've been running in...I think the thing that makes it awesome is the total frost face you end up with. There's nothing like the realization that your upper and lower eyelashes have actually frozen together. You debate letting it go, but then you realize you can't really see where you're going. So you take off your mitt and attempt to pull them apart...because removing all the frost might ruin the most epic selfie you plan to take at the end of your run to show how hardcore and awesome you are! The you realize that in spite of being inside your jacket against your body, your camera has actually frozen solid and won't work.

~sigh~

No epic selfie for me this weekend.

...but I did manage to run...just not as far as I'd scheduled...but 5km in -43'C is like 15km in +10'C so it's all good.

Hills in 50km headwind with snow is awesome.

 So I've decided to try and turn this blog around. Life is short and I need to focus on less complaining and more fabulosity. I mean I'm training for my first full marathon! How epic is that?

Yesterday I headed out for another hill session and I swear I though I was going to die. Seriously. The way up the hill was met with 50km headwinds with blowing snow and icey pellets. woo. hoo. However my first sprint up the hill was amazing...I say sprint because is was at a sub10:30 pace...something I didn't think I even had in me!

Happy Dance!

So after a couple more hills I noticed that I was starting to poop out...at one point I had to stop half way up the hill, turn around and try to breathe. The wind was forcing my Hoorag into my mouth...the wind was so strong it was filling my mouth with the only thing protecting my lungs. The thought entered my mind that this was perhaps not the best idea I've ever had. Maybe I should quit? Yeah right, like that's going to happen. So onward and upward I went.

I freely admit that this was by far the hardest thing I've ever tackled, but when I finished I felt like a freaking rock star! Finally that happy rush I used to feel every time I completed a run was BACK! YES!!!

As a side note, since I'm writing this to document the journey...the downside to this feeling can be that you start to think that maybe running a 50K ultra 3 weeks after running your first full marathon is a really great idea! You come perilously to actually registering for it...the fact that it's in Calgary and has a strict time limit on it means nothing to you. I'm pretty sure I've talked some sanity into myself...it would be a bad idea...right? Yeah. Bad idea. elevation, hills, it would kick my ass.

...but it's only 8km more...and really what's 8km after 42?

Really?

Okay, this is starting to get nuts. I need to run for me...not pace others...not be responsible for others...not sacrifice my pursuits so others can learn how to do this. I just finished 2 stints of doing that...I loved it, but now I need to focus on just me.

This journey was supposed to be awesome and fun...and I know it will be...eventually.

I won't write how I'm feeling right now because it would just be negative and self serving, so I need to turn this around.

Never in my life has this felt so shitty.

It was gorgeous this weekend and my times were shit...what's going to happen when it actually gets cold?

Bah Runbug.