Sometimes things don't go as planned

Well, i'll start by saying that Calgary was perhaps the hardest experience of my life. I won't bore you with all the nitty gritty details, but i did not make the ultra cut off for Calgary...i missed it by about 20 minutes. It was quite possibly the most devastating experience of my life.

I'll save you the horrid story of how i finished, but once i got out of the med tent i ended up running 8 more km in the parking lot to hit 50 km. I have never been so embarrassed and humbled as i was after that run. I did however learn a lot.

The Manitoba Marathon was nothing short of a clusterfuck for me. Pardon the language, but that's the only word that describes my experience with it. All that matters is that i finished it...and in the last mile I passed 3 runners that were trying to make it back before the course cut off as well.

So now I'm a maniac. Woo. Hoo. Excited? Maybe...not really..sort of. It seems like the group is full of conflict...I don't wanna play there much...but i have the gear...or i will very shortly. 2 marathons and a 50km in 37 days...never again. One race at  a time girlie, it's too exhausting otherwise.

I have new goals now.

I've set my sights on a 50 mile/12 hour endurance trail race in the fall. Yup. 50 km wasn't enough...I have an 80 km bug that's itching away at me...so I've been training...hard...and I'm tired...a lot.

Here's the deal though...a year ago I was struggling with the idea that I'd even be able to break the 3 hour mark on my 1/2 mary. My current PB is 2:34...and that was achieved with relative ease. Life is good, tiring but good.

I'm struggling with the fact that so many of my run club are also all up into the Ultra thing...i'll admit...part of me is irked...this was totally MY thing...childish i know, but it drives me nuts when they just randomly pick one of my 'holy grail' races that i want to build towards and just go do it...or think they'll do it...well lets just say the petulant child comes out.

The real deal is this: I'm training my ass off...literally. My goals are slow and steady and i have a lot of hard work in front of me, but I will do this. I can do this. I will be amazing. So I'm saying it here...50 miler in October. Followed by a 50 km in May at Spruce woods, which will be a warm up for a 50 miler in June...in St. Regis Montana...the Rail Trail.

I'm almost giddy with excitement. I'm going to be amazing!!! Now i just have to not tell anyone that I run with what my plans are...otherwise I'll have company...and the Rail Spike is MINE. See how silly I am? This must have something to do with the fact that next week I turn 40...my irrational side just seems to be popping out everywhere.

40.

I sense that my 40's are going to be filled with all things fabulous. I may not have everything  I assumed I would, but then again I'll have achieved things i never thought possible.

That's it?

So i did it. I ran 26.3 miles. It was awesome, it was exciting, it was frustrating, it was hard, i loved it, i hated it, i wanted it to end. In the end though I felt underwhelmed...this is it? Really? Shouldn't I feel more awesome?

I don't know what I thought I would feel like when all was said and done...but i know I thought I'd feel more amazing than this. Perhaps the Ultra weighs heavily on my mind. We shall have to wait and see.

It happened again...

As I'm entering the taper for my marathon training, I've come to the realization that I'm capable of more than I ever though possible.  I ran 51 km in 2 days...and I felt fine...better than fine, I felt GREAT. I had another excellent speed session last night and i realized that I'm getting stronger...I'm getting faster...and my calves are starting to officially become the size of a small child's torso...just over 16.5 inches

In the past that would have freaked me out a little. Now I feel a little odd, but I feel good...proud even of the achievements I've made. I'm looking at the 1/2 marathon in 11 days and i know that if I wanted to I could easily hit 2:30...well maybe not easily...it would take effort...but not crazy gargantuan effort...that would be 2:15

Calgary is 39 days away...and while I'm nervous, overall I'm feeling pretty okay. I'm more excited for Fargo...a full marathon...that will be a great day...no time restrictions, no pacing issues, just focusing on having a great run.

The journey is slowly but surely coming to and end...but not really...i have my eye on a 12 hour endurance race in october...so we shall see how this journey goes. Either way I'm excited.

Speed Work Triumph

So if I'm going to be honest, last night I was over the moon. I had my first round of speed work in this endeavor and I found myself at the end of it all finishing with a 8:59 m/m, 9:05, 8:50 and a 9:33! I don't know that I've ever moved so fast in my life! We tackled Yasso 800's...four of them.

Not only did I do it, i blew it out of the water. I got home beaming ear to ear...even the husband noticed how happy I was. Once I told him what I'd achieved he was happy for me to...kept looking at me all weird...it may have been pride.

Last year I Was only able to tackle 400 meter sprints...and they were rarely in the 11's...usually 12's...i double checked. Sure maybe it was just a good day...maybe next week I'll have a bad one, but this I know...I've grown. Even my coach was surprised by what I did...like double take surprised when I told her what my times were.

Again I was left out of the group...last person back. This time though it wasn't because I was slow...it was because everyone else slower than me gave up because it was too hard. After 2 I was dead...so i rested a moment and made a deal with myself...just 1 more than i could walk back. Yeah right...as if I'm gonna walk when I could at least attempt to run it.

Never give up, no matter how hard it feels. You never know where you might end up.

Oh goody...another doubter

Ever notice how easily people express their doubt over something you've chosen to do in your life that may be challenging? Yet another person warned about running Calgary...and how they couldn't do it because of the elevation change.

Yay. Good thing you went out of your way to tell me that...like that never crossed my mind before.

So far I've had 4 people express something positive about Calgary to me. Four. I run with about 50 people on a regular basis.

Good thing I'm not doing this for them, but for me. Good thing I don't need their approval. But to quote the amazing Spencer Reid..."could at least ONE of you looking like you're going to see me again?"

I can hardly wait to prove them all wrong...and then I can walk away from those doubters and rub their faces in it...because as immature as that sounds, that's exactly what I'm going to do.

20 miles!!!!!!!!

Okay, so I know that I haven't really kept up with the journey, but here's how it goes...I run, I run s'more, i eat, I sleep and then I run...a couple days of rest and then the cycle starts all over again.

I think the hardest thing about the training hasn't been the physical side of it...but more the time it takes. My energy level is next to nothing...I sleep all the time...and if I'm not careful I'll eat everything in sight. It's truly fascinating.

This past weekend I hit my longest distance ever...20.5 miles...should have been 21, but I walked the rest...i was done like dinner. It was the best feeling ever to run it with the people who got me on this journey...okay one of them I dragged along with me...but they're awesome people and I like to keep awesome around me these days.

As i look back on the run  I realize that on Saturday, i was there. 20 miles. You never train past it. 6 more miles for the full, 10 more miles for the ultra. The 10 seems intimidating...the 6 not so much. Yes i was totally done after the 20...but...it was more that I no longer had the desire to be running. If I'm honest I also hadn't been fueling up properly...too busy chatting and all. However had that been a race day...I totally could have banged out 6 more miles...and that feels AWESOME!!

This past weekends run also was a lot closer to my Calgary race pace than any other run has been. I averaged around a 13:00m/m pace...and I have to maintain a 12:24 for Calgary. So basically my plan is to run the first 20km around a 12:00m/m pace...just to make sure I reach the cut off in time.

I can see that happening now. Before it was just a goal, now it seems like something I can actually do!!! I already know that I'm going to be facing an uphill battle due to things outside my control. If there's any justice in this world things will even themselves out and race day will be awesome.

2 months until the ultra, 6 weeks until the full, 5 weeks until the 1/2.

Real.

People still suck

Ever notice that if you step outside the box people put you in they don't like it very much? Yeah. Whispers and snickers abound at the thought of me running an Ultra.

Get over it. Just wait until I complete a trail 50km. Just wait until I complete my first 100 miler.

Suck it.