I think the hardest thing about being injured for any athlete is the frustration that starts to build up inside you. The frustration and the guilt for feeling the way you do because you know damn well that in the grand scheme of things, you're really not in that bad of shape...but not being able to run...not being able to do what makes you you...well it feels like the earth is falling.
The mind games that get played are what's the hardest for me. I know that there are people out there in the world that have it worse off than I do. Believe me i know that. But here's the thing...my situation still sucks for ME. By saying i can't be upset or frustrated by my situation because others have it worse is like saying I can't be happy because there are others out there happier than I am.
I'm depressed. I'm frustrated. It feels like life just keeps piling on and I'm supposed to just deal with it. I was dealing just fine...until a split second lapse in judgement caused me to wind up down for the count...and now it feels like my body is unraveling.
I'm getting bitter, resentful and i really just want NOTHING to do with anyone these days. Family dinners, work, life...all of it is starting to feel just so overwhelming and I don't know how much longer i can keep it up before i snap.
This is what it feels like. I never wanna be here again, but i suspect the road back is going to be a long one.
